This isn’t just another self-love blog.
I’m not going to tell you to look yourself in the mirror and say “you are amazing”, or give yourself a pamper night. This time I want to shed the light on something different.
Things that don’t require anything else other than you, showing up for you.
After wearing several masks for years to survive. Using food and exercise as a way of coping. Walking around with a big rain cloud desperately wanting to burst and release a lightning storm to wash away the haze I created that hung, (hangs), around me…
…Every day my outlook on what self-care and self-love means, evolves into something greater.
Maybe you can relate if you’ve been/are going through, something similar.
Let’s face it we’ve all got something.
Something we’ve been through that’s left a scar and planted a seed for growth when we’re ready.
We’ve all got a story to share, or ‘secrets’ we’re holding close…
And sometimes when we’re lost in the lightning storm of it all — it can feel almost impossible to find your way out.
Which is why I wanted to share with you 5 acts of self-care I’ve recently welcomed into my life (that I’m still learning as well) so that maybe, you too, can guide yourself back into the light when you’re feeling lost…
Because what I know for sure is that we’re not wired to deal with it alone.
1. Be A Human Being (Not A Human Doing)
How often do you let yourself ‘just BE’?
As human beings, we’re wired for connection — connection with others, with nature, with art, and most importantly, connection with ourselves. When we disconnect we go into crisis.
It’s easy to lose touch when we have a super-sized HD TV in front of us, social media networks, dating apps, and messenger… But when you’re aware of how much you let yourself get lost in it all, it becomes easier to take the step to pull yourself out.
For me, my distraction from ‘being’ can be reading pages of self-help and business books each morning. Diving back into the go go go of life too easily without reflection. Listening to podcasts to expand my knowledge. Writing in my journal…
And while self-help stuff and development definitely is a form of self-love, sometimes we can become obsessed with it, finding ourselves on a relentless mission to become a shiny perfect human!
This week I’ve been instructed to put all of that down for a moment. To give me a break, and instead play and enjoy time connecting with others rather than constantly looking for answers and the next best way to improve.
Healing journeys from anything are meant to be done in microscopic chunks.
So give yourself a break and play. Your soul will thank you for the rest.
2. Check-in With Yourself
For me, this happens on my tearstained Yoga Mat.
Before I found my place in Yoga, I had always played with the idea of doing it, but each time I went to a class — it just didn’t sit quite right.
I have a strong inner perfectionist I’ve learned to tame, so when you bring her along to a Yoga class where you’ve got to put your body in perfect stances that you’re physically unable to do — it’s a recipe for disaster.
But back in December, I found myself in a class that was different. I found myself stepping into the world of Kundalini Yoga, something I’d never heard of before, and so grateful I did.
For me, Kundalini has helped me for the very first time understand what it feels like to check-in with myself, rather than check-out.
When I sit on my Yoga mat I consciously check-in. I tune into my soul and get cozy with my demons.
It’s my safe space to allow old residue to rise up, to step into my body which was once a crime scene.
It’s a space to let the floodgates fly open and release all that needs to come up.
When you find something that grants you the safety to do that and finally check-in with yourself — that, I believe is a powerful act of self-love.
3. Actually Look After Yourself
It’s important to be aware that after you allow yourself to check-in and let the pain rise to the surface — to look after yourself.
Don’t just step back into the go go go of life. Trust me, I’ve done this many times then it hits me hard later on in the week with headaches, heavy tiredness, and whirlwinds of internal stress.
Once you’ve had an emotional release, go easy.
For me, this means focusing on all of my needs. Feeding my body good food, going to bed early allowing sleep to work its magic. Making a warm cup of tea. Speaking with the people who matter most to me, who don’t stir up any negativity.
Peace of mind comes piece by piece, remember that.
4. Set Boundaries
Probably one of the hardest parts of self-care to get into action is setting boundaries.
But saying no is important, and standing true to your boundaries is probably one of the most powerful tools that can guarantee your emotional health and strength.
You’ll feel more love for yourself when you set limits, when you say no to doing things that drain the life out of you and harm you emotionally, physically and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.
Saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything, people will respect you more — and trust me, as a serial people pleaser, I’m slowly learning this more and more to be true as I step into my integrity.
5. Take A Laugh-Break
Laughter is one of the best medicines. Seriously.
The other day my head was feeling so heavy after an emotional breakthrough, I didn’t think it would be possible for one simple thing to shift it and make me feel lighter.
And that thing was laughter.
Watch a clip on youtube that makes your cheeks hurt, be silly and laugh with a friend OR make yourself laugh!
Whenever I’m feeling stressed and emotionally heavy, I do a form of ‘dance meditation’, close my curtains and let my body move in whatever crazy way it wants, to an upbeat tune.
It might sound crazy, but I promise you’re not a crazy if you can make yourself do this.
Self-care doesn’t have to be all bubble baths and a walk in a park.
Sure, those things are nice and they work!
Though there are plenty of other things you can do that require nothing else but you, showing up, for you.
So when baths and parks are unavailable – turn to yourself to be your own compass.
Love and light my wildlings ✌️💛
I’m the Brand Strategist and Head of Marketing for Paul Gough Media — what we do?
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