Working Out With My Demons

There’s a certain time of the month for a goddess, that’s pretty powerful (ladies, ya know what I’m saying).

And while I don’t enjoy all of the cravings, the bloating, and all that stuff that makes you feel — urgh…

I sure do love what this pre-time unlocks: the feisty, strong, she-power energy, within you.

It summons your ‘demons’ out to play and invites you to dance, rave, and get close to them.

Sometimes I choose to run away from them. But I’m so tired of doing that.

Because each time I run away from the loud rave parties they hold, with music that makes the walls vibrate, and beams that fill the room… I run away from ME.

And then, THEN I have to spend a day or two following my GPS (for what can feel like miles) running back to them (back to me), to check-in and make sure everything’s ok.

It’s tiring. It has grown tiring. And I don’t like running anyway.

But what I do like? Lifting weights. Lifting them, and dropping them.

I love being on the spot with something heavy on my back, or in the grip of my hands… Lifting it, and lowering it to the ground gracefully, with my Ninja face on that shows no struggle, just strength, and depth.

And that’s what I’m coming to realise — that I may need to do with my demons too.

Instead of letting them run wild, getting hungover with the emotional raves…

…I should invite them to come to the ‘gym’ with me. My own mindful gym with me.

Deadlift them, load them on the bar, that lets me lift them safely without putting my back out (without putting my emotions out).

Squat with them. Feel their weight on my shoulders, just the right amount so it pushes me, but not so much that my spine begins to collapse (so I don’t end up feeling ‘lost’, and fall down into deep sadness, again).

Bench press them and put them back in their place, just enough so their weight doesn’t crash down on my chest (so I don’t lose control of my breathing, and panic).

Then kettle bell swing them and tell them powerfully to leave me be now, so I can move my way through the reality of my day… Until it’s time to return to my emotional workout space again — which I dedicate to go to daily when I know it’s safe.

Because overtime (just like with lifting weights) I will become stronger, my form will become more graceful, and my lifts will grow more powerful… And then I’ll be able to invite the little rascals (I call my demons, my shadows) to come sit with me at my table…

…while I remain in my zone, witnessing and feeling, knowing how to carry them and hear them — without doing my ‘now soul’ harm.

Thank you Demons, I’m learning to love, thank and enjoy you dearly.

Amy xo

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