It has been 100 days since ‘binge eating disorder’ and I decided to break up and turn our dark relationship into a friendship.
A lot has happened since day 1. I knew letting go would be hard, but I wasn’t prepared for just how hard, and beautiful at the same time, this growth would be.
Allowing my past demon to sit with me, instead of leading me, has taught me so much.
When I sat and faced her she showed me that there’s still so many other breakups to be had. Still so many other demons longing for me to call them friends too, to be heard and passed on through.
There is so much baggage and negativity we as humans have attached to our coping mechanisms, that we lose touch with what they’re trying to do – which is help. Help us to move forward and step into our true potential, guiding our way on.
I’m learning that my ‘binge demon’s’ intention was never for me to escape and ignore the pain, instead she was showing up telling me to face it, feel it, release it from this body where my tissues have stored it and kept it trapped for years, to keep me safe…
Even though it’s day 100 and I am feeling some sense of inner freedom, there are still times where every cell in my body wants to give into the loud pull to distract.
There are still times where I’m sat curled up using all my strength to sit with the uncomfortable pulls, tugging at me so hard.
But despite that, when I get through those moments, each cell finally surrenders and melts into the moment becoming the witness of the experience, rather than being swallowed by the experience instead.
So my loves remember, once you overcome one challenge it’s inevitable there is going to be a next… how you choose to react to it is completely in your power, you can choose fear, or you can choose faith – faith in knowing you’ve got this.
Breathe, feel and melt into it.
This experience is an exquisite gift.
And I’m here walking with you.
All the love, me
(Thank you Mum for gifting me this beautiful necklace to mark this precious milestone)